新闻每日发－－各说各话

美人鱼

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all constructed boats and left. Except for Love.

Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment. When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said, Richness, can you take me with you?"

Richness answered, "No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you."

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. "Vanity, please help me!" "I can't help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked, "Sadness, let me go with you." "Oh . . . Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!"

Happiness passed by Love, too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her.

Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come, Love, I will take you." It was an elder. So blessed and overjoyed, Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Realizing how much was owed the elder,

Love asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who Helped me?" It was Time," Knowledge answered. "Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?" Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is."

This is Rex Barker, CS (Captivated by the "Survivor" on the island) reminding you that we are here to learn to emulate the divine by practicing unconditional love.

美人鱼

CIA - Computer Industry Acronyms
CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months.

PCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms.

ISDN: It Still Does Nothing.

SCSI: System Can't See It.

MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed.

DOS: Defunct Operating System.

WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System.

OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too.

PnP: Plug and Pray.

APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity.

IBM: I Blame Microsoft.

DEC: Do Expect Cuts.

MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers.

CA: Constant Acquisitions.

COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language.

LISP: Lots of Insipid and Stupid Parentheses.

MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs.

AAAAA: American Association Against Acronym Abuse.

美人鱼

如果上上篇有点儿沉重，

这上篇够逗的吧？

美人鱼

IBM: I Blame Microsoft.

美人鱼

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could, and it could go no further.

So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. If we were allowed to go through our lives without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. We could never fly!

美人鱼

有用！

美人鱼

Top Ten Employee Rules
1) If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.


2) If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.


3) Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.


4) For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.


5) Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back.


6) Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.


7) To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.


8) The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.


9) Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.


10) If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

饺子

美人鱼 辛苦了。

美人鱼

Three Government Workers
A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, he bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his cola and he watched a couple of men working along the roadside.

One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other man came along behind and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other was about 25 feet behind filling in the old.

"Hold it, hold it," the fellow said to the men. "Can you tell me what's going on here with this digging?"

"Well, we work for the county government," one of the men said.

"But one of you is digging a hole and the other is filling it up. You're not accomplishing anything. Aren't you wasting the county's money?"

"You don't understand, mister," one of the men said, leaning on his shovel and wiping his brow. "Normally there's three of us, me, Joe and Mike. I dig the hole, Joe sticks in the tree and Mike here puts the dirt back."

"Yea," piped up Mike. "Now just because Joe is sick, that doesn't mean we can't work, does it?"

美人鱼

哈哈，
好好笑噢

美人鱼

谢谢
饺子

美人鱼

All I Need to Know About Life I Learned from Drinking Coffee
* I am productive! I am productive! I am productive!

* Better latte than never.

* A day without coffee is like night...you sleep through it.

* We all have to do the daily grind.

* Espresso yourself.

* Automatic drip defines most people's personalities.

* Stand your grounds.

* If the spoon doesn't dissolve, it isn't coffee.

* I love the caffeine; it's the rich taste I could do without.

* Don't stop till you're shaking.

* Impatience is a virtue.

* Take two cups and call me in the middle of the night.

* Who needs sleep when you've got coffee?

* There's no rest for the caffeinated.

* Decaf is for sissies.

* Man cannot live by coffee alone - donuts are pretty essential too.

* There is no such thing as a free refill.

* It's okay to be full of beans sometimes.

美人鱼

Miss Idaho 2006!

美人鱼

Continual cheerfulness is a sign of wisdom.

美人鱼

If God shuts one door, he opens another